From jk@trantor.paradigmsim.com Wed Oct 23 11:08:16 1996 Received: from postoffice.cso.uiuc.edu (postoffice.cso.uiuc.edu [128.174.5.11]) by dynamic.isdn.uiuc.edu (8.7.5/8.7.3) with SMTP id LAA02046 for ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 11:08:14 -0500 Received: (from daemon@localhost) by postoffice.cso.uiuc.edu (8.6.12/8.6.12) id QAA211356 for roth@dynamic.isdn.uiuc.edu; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 16:08:12 GMT Received: from trantor.paradigmsim.com (trantor.paradigmsim.com [206.7.114.165]) by postoffice.cso.uiuc.edu (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id LAA149362 for ; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 11:08:08 -0500 Received: (from jk@localhost) by trantor.paradigmsim.com (950413.SGI.8.6.12/950213.SGI.AUTOCF) id LAA17408 for roth@uiuc.edu; Wed, 23 Oct 1996 11:08:07 -0500 X-PH: V4.4@postoffice.cso.uiuc.edu From: "Jay Kreibich" Message-Id: <9610231108.ZM17407@trantor.paradigmsim.com> Date: Wed, 23 Oct 1996 11:08:06 -0500 Reply-To: jk@paradigmsim.com X-Citment: Pontiac X-Mailer: Z-Mail (3.2.3 08feb96 MediaMail) To: roth@uiuc.edu Subject: (Fwd) Redneck jokes (fwd) Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Status: RO Enjoy. -j --- Forwarded mail from Tracy Hagle Date: Wed, 23 Oct 96 08:16:00 PDT From: Tracy Hagle To: Anne_Marie_Trujillo@ccm.rr.intel.com, jk@paradigmsim.com, bsalazar@nmsu.edu, dforst@ceramics.mot.com Subject: Redneck jokes (fwd) Text item: Your Starship Captain just might be a redneck if... - your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month - he paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles - you have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob" - he refers to Klingons as "Critters" - he refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns" - he has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil - he installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section - he says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies" - he hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen - he rewires his communicator into his belt buckle - he keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it - he says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage" - he has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser - he insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba" - he sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster" - he programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens - he paints the starship John Deere green - he refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special" - he refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp" - his moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale - he sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen" - his idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls - he wears mirrored shades on the Bridge - his idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans and weenies - he sets phaser to "Cajun" -- | .-. Jay A. Kreibich | \ \ P A R A D I G M | .-.\ Software Engineer | / \' \ S i m u l a t i o n I n c VEGA Development Team | / .\ \ | /.-/-----\--. 14900 Landmark Blvd., Suite 400 jk@paradigmsim.com | /( / `-' ) Dallas, TX, 75240 | / `----------' 972.960.2301 FAX: 972.960.2303 | `-' http://www.paradigmsim.com/