From brian@far0027.urh.uiuc.edu Tue Apr 11 14:01:21 1995 Received: from postoffice.cso.uiuc.edu (postoffice.cso.uiuc.edu [128.174.5.11]) by vortex.cso.uiuc.edu (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id JAA127136 for ; Tue, 11 Apr 1995 09:01:20 -0500 Received: (from daemon@localhost) by postoffice.cso.uiuc.edu (8.6.12/8.6.12) id OAA41536 for roth@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu; Tue, 11 Apr 1995 14:01:17 GMT Received: from far0027.urh.uiuc.edu (far0027.urh.uiuc.edu [128.174.202.36]) by postoffice.cso.uiuc.edu (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id JAA48154 for ; Tue, 11 Apr 1995 09:01:12 -0500 Received: from far0027.urh.uiuc.edu (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by far0027.urh.uiuc.edu (8.6.9/8.6.9) with ESMTP id IAA21443 for ; Tue, 11 Apr 1995 08:50:24 -0500 Message-Id: <199504111350.IAA21443@far0027.urh.uiuc.edu> X-PH: V4.4@postoffice.cso.uiuc.edu From: "Brian J. Swetland" X-Mailer: MH 6.8.3 To: roth@uiuc.edu Subject: Humor, anyone? Date: Tue, 11 Apr 1995 08:50:23 -0500 Sender: brian@far0027.urh.uiuc.edu Status: RO ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 10 Apr 95 12:45:58 -0500 From: Usenet Oracle Subject: Usenet Oracularity #722-05 Selected-By: Michael Nolan The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Our Oracle who art in Indiana, hallowed be thy domain name, please tell > me: > > What are the 15 Workstations of the Cross? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } No such thing. But here are the Greater Trumps ... } } 0. The FOOL: a manager using a SPARCStation 413,1432 to run a } screensaver. } } 1. The MAGICIAN: a hacker with a Mac, a Pentium box, a Sparc, and a } Cray on the table in front of him --- all running the same program } with the same GUI. An infinity sign is over his head. } } 2. The HIGH PRIESTESS: a woman holding the Documentation, closed and } concealed. The crescent moon is showing on an Indigo behind her. } } 3. The EMPEROR: Steve Jobs sitting on a NeXT cube, holding an optical } disk vertically in his hand. } } 4. The EMPRESS: A secretary with a NeXT Machine. } } 5. The HEIROPHANT: Bill Gates with two flunkies kneeling before him, } their faces averted, offering him floppy disks. He wears a laptop } computer on his head. } } 6. The LOVERS: a PowerMAC and an IBM Power PC exchanging software as } an angel bathed in glory regards them. } } 7. The CHARIOT: A man in a chariot, hurtling up an exponential curve, } drawn by the twin sphinxes of Technology (black) and Culture } (white). } } 8. STRENGTH: A woman holding the entire design and implementation of } Microsoft Excel in her mind as she corrects the final error. An } infinity sign is over her head. } } 9. The HERMIT: An old hacker, white-bearded, burns the midnight oil; } its Star-of-David flame illuminates his keyboard. } } 10. The WHEEL OF FORTUNE: A rotating wheel. Cray is on the side going } down, despite its good technology; Smalltalk is opposite it, and } C++ is sitting on top. Four winged beings -- a mouse, a turtle, a } dog-cow, and a human -- look on. } } 11. JUSTICE. A cold-faced woman holds a calculator in one hand and a } delete-key in the other. } } 12. The HANGED MAN: A programmer is tied by his ankle to a cable duct. } His phase is completely shifted: he awakens at sunset, he sleeps } at dawn. His monitor is reverse-video. He programs on, } flawlessly, oblivious to his circumstances. } } 13. DEATH: A skeleton weilding a scythe surveys a field, on which are } scattered PDP-11s, Apple ]['s, IBM 360/91's, Xerox Alto's, and } many other machines. } } 14. TEMPERANCE: An angel stands with one foot on her chair and one on } the floor, as she copies files from one disk to another. A cursor } blinks from her chest. } } 15. The DEVIL: The goat-headed Lord of the Pit stands on a pile of } Windows manuals, holding an inverted torch in one hand. Two } humans, male and female, are in chains at his feet. } } 16. The TOWER: An ivory tower is struck by a bolt of lightning. Two } robed figures, denied tenure, are hurtled to the ground. } } 17. The STAR: A Mac is running its `warp' screen saver, in a transient } fragile moment of peace. } } 18. The MOON: A wolf and a jackal are typing at two PC's. A crayfish } crawls out of a pool, offering suggestions that may ultimately } prove deadly. The moon shines through a window. } } 19. The SUN: A naked child riding a winged rocking horse programs } clever applications on a high-quality workstation. } } 20. JUDGEMENT: An angel blows a trumpet; all over the net, web pages } arise, to be rated Cool or not. } } 21. The WORLD: A woman dances on the clouds, unclothed, unencumbered, } in a ring of clouds, a 3-d mouse in each hand. The four winged } beings from the Wheel of Fortune surround her. ------------------------------ --- Brian J. Swetland /-- University of Illinois at U/C - Computer Engineering - swetland@uiuc.edu / "Naturally you'd prefer to be alive. Life in a box -----------------/ is better than no life at all. I expect." - R&GAD