Path: vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!news.uoregon.edu!psgrain!rainrgnews0!news.aracnet.com!news.aracnet.com!not-for-mail From: romeo@aracnet.com (Brad M. Sattler) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.folklore.computers,alt.folklore.urban,alt.config,alt.culture.gard-trask,alt.fan.warlord,alt.fan.lemurs Subject: The Kibo Olympics Date: 17 Jul 1995 19:23:46 -0700 Organization: by committee Lines: 54 Sender: romeo@aracnet.com Message-ID: <3uf5vi$v92@cobweb.aracnet.com> Keywords: it's about time Xref: vixen.cso.uiuc.edu alt.religion.kibology:74499 alt.folklore.computers:111771 alt.folklore.urban:226443 alt.config:81893 alt.fan.warlord:25360 As the preparations come to a close, it has now been deemed time for an official annoucement concerning The First Annual Kibo Olympics. Events are tenetively scheduled to occur on or about the 23rd of July. Those wishing to participate should notify the Kibolympic committee by making some bold statement about how they're going to dominate their chosen events. Spectators are welcome to the FREE festival seating in the spacious Happynet Amphitheater/Rifle Range. Tickets can be received by running down your street naked screaming songs from The Little Mermaid. A uniformed Kibologist will chase you down, tackle you, and give you what you have coming. Please understand that this is their job... tipping is discouraged. Events have been selected to best reflect or enchance those unique qualities which define a Kibologist. A final schedule of events and times will be availible at a later time. For a brief sample, the track events will be few, as it was noted many participants rarely leave their homes, much less exercise. The 50 and 100 Meter Giant H Hurdles look to be the most exciting event so far, pitting^Wchallenging lightly armed Kibologists against Giant H's of 50 and 100 Meters, respectively. Details on the HUGE Pile O' Candy will have to remain secret for now, but it will effect some of the events. Here is a brief listing of other, random events: 500M Circular Arguement Most on-topic Crosspost 3 group troll (standard cast) 3 group troll (fly cast) The Kibo word hunt Flagrant waste of hundreds, if not.. Most off-topic Crosspost Cutting off your own hair(free-style) The Egocentric Meglomania ...and so on. Negotiations are underway with AFU, Inc. to incorperate their fishing tourney into the Olympics. Events are open to all amateurs not acting on Our Esteemed Panel of Judges (TM) for that event. Amateur status is defined as not being paid for any Kibology done during the duration of the events, as per Kibolympic rules and regulations. Color Comentary and Legal Rulings will be provided by E Teflon Piano. Cheating is encouraged. See futher clarifications in the Kibolympic Rules and Regulations Guidebook. The Kibo Olympics are not officially endorsed by Kibo (yet), AFU Inc., or Joel Furr. Lemurs may not participate in events involving the HUGE Pile O' Candy (sorry guys). All potential contestents are encouraged to begin training as soon as possible, and to froth at the mouth in a fever of hysteria awaiting this chance to show up not only their friends, but the world. Thank You, Brad Sattler Kibolympic Committee Member -- The Kibo Olympics. For more information contact a licensed Kibologist. Brad Sattler (romeo@aracnet.com) ..web page coming this decade, be patient.