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From: st923058@pip.cc.brandeis.edu (Lord Of The Pit Band)
Newsgroups: alt.geek,alt.music.filk,alt.callahans,alt.rock-n-roll.oldies
Subject: PARODY: Keeper of the FAQ
Date: 25 Mar 1995 04:29:33 GMT
Organization: Brandeis University
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	This is a parody I wrote in homage to .net romance everywhere. It's
to the tune of "Leader of the Pack", by the Shangri-Las.

Spoken:	So is she really going out with him?
		I don't know, let's ask her. Say, Betty, is that Jimmy's web
			page in your .sig?
		Uh-huh.
		It must be great talking with him.
		You guys gonna be on IRC tonight?
		Uh-uh.
		By the way, where'd you meet him?

Sung:		I met him in rec.arts.starwars
		He answered my first inquiry...you get the picture?
		(yes, we see)
		That's when I fell for the Keeper of the FAQ.

	[between verses, sound of a modem dialup]

		My friends were always giving me hell (hell, hell, hell)
		They told me he posted from AOL (whattaya mean they say he
				posts from AOL?)
		They said he had no clue
		But I knew it wasn't true
		That's why I fell for the Keeper of the FAQ.

	[modem dialup]

		One day, my sysop said "No more alt.*!"
		I tried to tell Jim it wasn't his fault
		He sent e-mail asking why,
		all I could do was type "reply:
		"I'm sorry I hurt you, Keeper of the FAQ."

Spoken:	He sort of :)ed and *ed me goodbye
		The typos were starting to show
		As he logged off on that rainy night
		I begged him to go slow (and use a surge protector)
		Whether he heard I'll never know...
		(no no no no)

	[Sound of large electrical shock]

Sung:		I felt so clueless--what help could there be?
		(I posted to sci.med.emergency...)
		On alt.geek they all stop and stare...
		I can't hit my CAPS LOCK, but I don't care--
		I'll never forget him, Keeper of the FAQ.

		Ooo-ooo-ooo...

		Gone (keeper of the FAQ, now he's gone, gone gone gone gone)
[mixed with sounds of electrocution] and fade out

				--Jess

Jessica Raine | st923058@pip.cc.brandeis.edu
"If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution."--Emma Goldman