From mbblum@skhp02.monsanto.com Mon Jul 11 15:05:00 1994 Received: from argus.cso.uiuc.edu by ux4.cso.uiuc.edu with SMTP id AA15080 (5.67b/IDA-1.5 for ); Mon, 11 Jul 1994 15:04:59 -0500 Received: by argus.cso.uiuc.edu id AA44078 (5.67b/IDA-1.5 for roth@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu); Mon, 11 Jul 1994 15:05:00 -0500 Received: from skhp02.monsanto.com by argus.cso.uiuc.edu with SMTP id AA38180 (5.67b/IDA-1.5 for ); Mon, 11 Jul 1994 15:04:58 -0500 Received: by skhp02.monsanto.com (1.37.109.4/16.2) id AA00162; Mon, 11 Jul 94 15:07:59 -0500 Date: Mon, 11 Jul 1994 15:07:58 -0500 (CDT) X-Ph: V4.3@argus.cso.uiuc.edu From: Michael Blumenthal Sender: Michael Blumenthal Reply-To: Michael Blumenthal Subject: Re: How did God Intended Keyboards To: Michael Pereckas Cc: "Anthony J. Stuckey" , Mark Roth , Brian Altman , Hilary Leon In-Reply-To: <199407081958.AA18337@today.slip.uiuc.edu> Message-Id: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; CHARSET=US-ASCII Status: RO On Fri, 8 Jul 1994, Michael Pereckas wrote: > Mark Roth wrote: > > OK, here's The Way God Intended Keyboards to Be According to Mark: > > Is there something on this in the Talmud? >From Lost Volumes of the Talmud, starting on page 101011011: In the Torah it is written: Baruch atah adonai, elohenu melech ha'olam, borei paree ha'keyboard tov. Loosely translated, this states, Praise God who has commanded us to use a Good Keyboard. Rabbi Eliazar adds: Had God given us a good keyboard, and not brought us forth out of the Land of Egypt, it would have been enough. Had God brought us forth, out of the land of Egypt, and not imparted to us GCC, it would have been enough. Rabbi Ben Yahuda says: Thank you Rabbi Eliazar, this isn't passover. Rabbi Rhiengold adds: God Intended every keyboard to have a calendar program in ROM. Rabbi Joshua says: A clicky keyboard is a Holy thing. Rabbi Ben Gurion counters: A keyboard click is the sound of matzah breaking in the ears of a thirsty man. Rabbi Eliazar ponders: What makes the One True Keyboard different from all other keyboards? Rabbi Ben Yahudda answers: On this Keyboard, the Backspace has been fashioned to the width of two fingers. On all other keyboards, the backspace has been fashioned to be but the width of a single finger. Rabbi Joshua responds: On this Keyboard, the Enter key has been been fashioned to the shape of the hebrew letter ayin. Not all other keyboards are fashioned this way. The rabbis debated deep into the night. The End. ------------------------------------------------------------- End of excerpt from Lost Volumes of the Talmud. MBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMB Michael Blumenthal, mbblum@skhp02.monsanto.com Me My opinions are my own; I do not speak for my employer. MBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMB Unfortunately, not everybody will understand all of this, but at least everybody should understand some of it.