From navaho@merle.acns.nwu.edu Tue Apr 26 00:33:03 1994 Received: from ux1.cso.uiuc.edu by ux4.cso.uiuc.edu with SMTP id AA02725 (5.67b/IDA-1.5 for ); Tue, 26 Apr 1994 00:32:59 -0500 Received: by ux1.cso.uiuc.edu id AA25113 (5.67b8/IDA-1.5 for roth@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu); Tue, 26 Apr 1994 00:32:42 -0500 Received: from merle.acns.nwu.edu by ux1.cso.uiuc.edu with SMTP id AA25102 (5.67b8/IDA-1.5 for ); Tue, 26 Apr 1994 00:32:37 -0500 Received: by merle.acns.nwu.edu (1.37.109.8.1.1/16.2) id AA18841; Tue, 26 Apr 1994 00:32:35 -0500 X-Ph: V4.1@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu From: navaho@merle.acns.nwu.edu Message-Id: <9404260532.AA18841@merle.acns.nwu.edu> Subject: Funny stuff (fwd) To: deluded@overbyte.mit.edu (ronald david schmelzer), alivschi@midway.uchicago.edu (ann livschiz), hemlock@chinet.chinet.com (rachel leah leibovitz), amerchan@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (abbas merchant), ds-cohen@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (deborah shoshana cohen), r-mcghee@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (ryan mcghee), u59965@uicvm.uic.edu (richard martinoff), chinet!bogie@mcs.com (jacob (alias yakov) mendelsohn), dpomeran@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (daniel pomerantz), delusion@merle.acns.nwu.edu (albert (L-bert?) schmelzer), roth@uiuc.edu (mark roth), mwilson@merle.acns.nwu.edu (lord matthew james wilson) Date: Tue, 26 Apr 94 0:32:35 CDT Reply-To: navaho@nwu.edu (Nava Cohen) X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.3 PL11] X-Charset: LATIN1 X-Char-Esc: 29 Status: RO Forwarded message: >From ysoloff@sas.upenn.edu Fri Apr 22 13:08 CDT 1994 From: ysoloff@sas.upenn.edu (Yedida L Soloff) Posted-Date: Fri, 22 Apr 1994 14:07:34 -0400 Message-Id: <199404221807.OAA12943@mail.sas.upenn.edu> Subject: Funny stuff (fwd) To: navaho@merle.acns.nwu.edu (Nava R.S. Cohen) Date: Fri, 22 Apr 1994 14:07:33 -0400 (EDT) X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4 PL23-upenn2.8] Content-Type: text Content-Length: 7931 Dear Nava, NO MORE CLASSES, NO MORE BOOKS, NO MORE TEACHER'S DIRTY LOOKS! Not, of course, that my professors give me dirty looks. In fact, I was rather fond of most of them. BUt its very, very nice that classes are over. HOORAY. of course, that means that finals are in a week, but who cares? LIfe is ok. THere is nothing more to say (hay that rhymed. Im a poet and I dont know it). See you very soon (I am returning sometime after the weekend of the 6th. ever yours , yedida ps: sorry about math, good luck on psych. if its any consulation, i bombed a spanish test today. > Hey, folks! Thought you might enjoy this. > > Lise > > > >From the Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, March 1, 1994. > Reprinted without permission > > BEFUDDLED PC USERS FLOOD HELP LINES, AND NO QUESTION SEEMS TO > BE TOO BASIC > > AUSTIN, Texas - The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn't get > her new Dell computer to turn on. Jay Ablinger, a Dell Computer Corp. > technician, made sure the computer was plugged in and then asked the > woman what happened when she pushed the power button. > > "I've pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens," the > woman replied. "Foot pedal?" the technician asked. "Yes," the woman > said, "this little white foot pedal with the on switch." The "foot > pedal," it turned out, was the computer's mouse, a hand-operated device > that helps to control the computer's operations. > > Personal-computer makers are discovering that it's still a low-tech > world out there. While they are finally having great success selling > PCs to households, they now have to deal with people to whom monitors > and disk drives are a foreign as another language. > > "It is rather mystifying to get this nice, beautiful machine and not > know anything about it," says Ed Shuler, a technician who helps field > consumer calls at Dell's headquarters here. "It's going into unfamiliar > territory," adds Gus Kolias, vice president of customer service and > training for Compaq Computer Corp. "People are looking for a comfort level." > > Only two years ago, most calls to PC help lines came from techies > needing help on complex problems. But now, with computer sales to homes > exploding as new "multimedia" functions gain mass appeal, PC makers say > that as many as 70% of their calls come from rank novices. Partly > because of the volume of calls, some computer companies have started > charging help-line users. > > The questions are often so basic that they could have been answered by > opening the manual that comes with every machine. One woman called Dell's > toll-free line to ask how to install batteries in her laptop. When > told that the directions were on the first page of the manual, says Steve > Smith, Dell director of technical support, the woman replied angrily, > "I just paid $2,000 for this damn thing, and I'm not going to read a book." > > Indeed, it seems that these buyers rarely refer to a manual when a phone > is at hand. "If there is a book and a phone and they're side by side, > the phone wins time after time," says Craig McQuilkin, manager of > service marketing for AST Research, Inc. in Irvine, Calif. "It's a > phenomenon of people wanting to talk to people." > > And do they ever. Compaq's help center in Houston, Texas, is inundated > by some 8,000 consumer calls a day, with inquiries like this one related > by technician John Wolf: "A frustrated customer called, who said her > brand new Contura would not work. She said she had unpacked the unit, > plugged it in, opened it up and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for > something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the > power switch, she asked, 'What power switch?'" > > Seemingly simple computer features baffle some users. So many people have > called to ask where the "any" key is when "Press Any Key" flashes on the > screen that Compaq is considering changing the command to "Press Return Key." > > Some people can't figure out the mouse. Tamra Eagle, an AST technical > support supervisor, says one customer complained that her mouse was hard > to control with the "dust cover" on. The cover turned out to be the > plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. Dell technician Wayne Zieschang > says one of his customers held the mouse and pointed it at the screen, > all the while clicking madly. The customer got no response because the > mouse works only if it's moved over a flat surface. > > Disk drives are another bugaboo. Compaq technician Brent Sullivan says > a customer was having trouble reading word-processing files from his > old diskettes. After troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to > diagnose the problem, Mr. Sullivan asked what else was being done with > the diskette. The customer's response: "I put a label on the diskette, > roll it into the typewriter..." > > At AST, another customer dutifully complied with a technician's request > that she send in a copy of a defective floppy disk. A letter from the > customer arrived a few days later, along with a Xerox copy of the floppy. > And at Dell, a technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy > back in the drive and "close the door." Asking the technician to "hold on," > the customer put the phone down and was heard walking over to shut the > door to his room. The technician meant the door to his floppy drive. > > The software inside the computer can be equally befuddling. A Dell > customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. > After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man > was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor > screen and hitting the "send" key. > > Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so Dell > technician Gary Rock referred him to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me > a couple of friends," the customer replied. When told Egghead was a > software store, the man said, "Oh! I thought you meant for me to find a > couple of geeks." > > No realizing how fragile computers can be, some people end up damaging > parts beyond repair. A Dell customer called to complain that his > keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it, he said, filling up his > tub with soap and water and soaking his keyboard for a day, and then > removing all the keys and washing them individually. > > Computers make some people paranoid. A Dell technician, Morgan Vergara, > says he once calmed a man who became enraged because "his computer had > told him he was bad and an invalid." Mr. Vergara patiently explained > that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be > taken personally. > > These days PC-help technicians increasingly find themselves taking on > the role of amateur psychologists. Mr. Shuler, the Dell technician, who > once worked as a psychiatric nurse, says he defused a potential domestic > fight by soothingly talking a man through a computer problem after the > man had screamed threats at his wife and children in the background. > > There are also the lonely hearts who seek out human contact, even if it > happens to be a computer techie. One man from New Hampshire calls Dell > every time he experiences a life crisis. He gets a technician to walk > him through some contrived problem with his computer, apparently feeling > uplifted by the process. > > "A lot of people want reassurance," says Mr. Shuler. > > > > > -- > "They want to know what I do with all my time. I tell them that sometimes > I just sit and THINK. But I won't tell them what...And sometimes, I tell > them, I like to put my head back, like this, and let the rain fall in my > mouth. It tastes just like wine. Have you ever tried it?" > -- Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451) > -- 2 from 4/22 +1 Lo rotzim shikun! Rotzim maabara! -- "If the belief in Peace and Justice is a childish dream, I would rather be called a child than be a cynic and a killer"