From navaho@merle.acns.nwu.edu Tue May 24 19:19:24 1994 Received: from argus.cso.uiuc.edu by ux4.cso.uiuc.edu with SMTP id AA20457 (5.67b/IDA-1.5 for ); Tue, 24 May 1994 19:19:23 -0500 Received: by argus.cso.uiuc.edu id AA48972 (5.67b/IDA-1.5 for roth@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu); Tue, 24 May 1994 19:19:22 -0500 Received: from merle.acns.nwu.edu by argus.cso.uiuc.edu with SMTP id AA03143 (5.67b/IDA-1.5 for ); Tue, 24 May 1994 19:19:22 -0500 Received: by merle.acns.nwu.edu (1.37.109.8.1.1/16.2) id AA13950; Tue, 24 May 1994 19:19:01 -0500 X-Ph: V4.3@argus.cso.uiuc.edu From: navaho@merle.acns.nwu.edu Message-Id: <9405250019.AA13950@merle.acns.nwu.edu> Subject: Hacker Dating Tips (fwd)...liked it until I read #10 To: delusion@casbah.acns.nwu.edu (Albert Schmezer), alivschi@midway.uchicago.edu (ann livschiz), hemlock@chinet.chinet.com (rachel leah leibovitz), u59965@uicvm.uic.edu (richard martinoff), chinet!bogie@mcs.com (jacob (alias yakov) mendelsohn), delusion@merle.acns.nwu.edu (albert (L-bert?) schmelzer), roth@uiuc.edu (mark roth), mwilson@merle.acns.nwu.edu (lord matthew james wilson), chadford@epsilon.eecs.nwu.edu (Charad Sheerajin) Date: Tue, 24 May 94 19:19:01 CDT Reply-To: navaho@nwu.edu (Nava Cohen) X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.3 PL11] Status: RO Forwarded message: >From don@asymetrix.com Tue May 24 19:15:56 CDT 1994 Article: 3108 of rec.humor.funny Path: news.acns.nwu.edu!math.ohio-state.edu!usc!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!decwrl!looking!funny-request Message-ID: Date: Mon, 23 May 94 19:30:03 EDT Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: don@asymetrix.com (Don Gratton) Subject: Hacker Dating Tips Keywords: chuckle, computers Approved: funny@clarinet.com Lines: 40 THE TOP TEN WAYS A COMPUTER GUY CAN IMPRESS HIS DATE 10. Flash the big wads of tens and twenties you created with your color laser printer and top-notch graphics program. 9. Spend an evening playing floppy disks backward, listening for the secret messages about Satan. 8. Invite her back to your place to show her the etchings on your Newton MessagePad. 7. Let the lady go first when you reach the virtual reality escalator. 6. Serenade her with your MIDI-compatible drum pads. 5. Have your dinner illuminated by the soft glow of an active-matrix LCD panel. 4. If you're getting serious, consider a set of "his 'n' her" system unit keys. 3. Drive her crazy by murmuring tender love words with the help of a French-speaking voice synthesizer. 2. Never type on your date's laptop computer without permission, particularly if the system is on her lap. AND THE #1 WAY A COMPUTER GUY CAN IMPRESS HIS DATE: 1. When things get tough, simply ask yourself, "What would Bill Gates do in a situation like this? -- Selected by Maddi Hausmann Sojourner. MAIL your joke to funny@clarinet.com. If you mail to original@clarinet.com, it makes sure that your joke is tagged as your original work, and thus eligible for the RHF comedy awards. Always attribute the source of a joke, whether it's you, or somebody else. -- Statistics--The worst part of this class was that a few hardcore Techies decided to take the class just for kicks. They'd always shout out the answers, and make those who aren't so gifted at math feel stupid. I mean, I don't show up at their "Learning the Alphabet" classes and shout out "P" when the teacher asks the class what comes after "O" Mark Bazer