Return-Path: Received: from mx4.cso.uiuc.edu (mx4.cso.uiuc.edu [128.174.5.41]) by enterprise.isdn.uiuc.edu (8.8.7/8.8.7) with ESMTP id PAA28649 for ; Thu, 23 Apr 1998 15:59:47 GMT From: ajroth@skcla.monsanto.com Received: (from daemon@localhost) by mx4.cso.uiuc.edu (8.8.8/8.8.8) id KAA26109 for roth@enterprise.isdn.uiuc.edu; Thu, 23 Apr 1998 10:58:49 -0500 (CDT) Received: from gatekeeper3.monsanto.com (gatekeeper3.monsanto.com [199.89.234.123]) by mx4.cso.uiuc.edu (8.8.8/8.8.8) with SMTP id KAA26059 for ; Thu, 23 Apr 1998 10:58:37 -0500 (CDT) X-PH: V4.4a@mx4.cso.uiuc.edu Received: by gatekeeper3.monsanto.com; id KAA24769; Thu, 23 Apr 1998 10:58:36 -0500 Received: from tin.monsanto.com(164.144.230.51) by gatekeeper3.monsanto.com via smap (3.2) id xma024146; Thu, 23 Apr 98 10:58:02 -0500 Received: from SKCLA.DECnet MAIL11D_V3 by tin (5.65/Monsanto1.11) id AA15393; Thu, 23 Apr 1998 10:42:23 -0500 Date: Thu, 23 Apr 1998 10:42:23 -0500 Message-Id: <9804231542.AA15393@tin> To: "roth@uiuc.edu"@tin.monsanto.com Subject: Cute Computer 1-liners Status: RO Content-Length: 2613 Lines: 93 From: TIN::"bkatz@anima.nums.nwu.edu" 23-APR-1998 09:04:41.60 To: ajroth@skcla, bige765@pol.net, gesras@aol.com, gbloom@idt.com, gkapetansk@shl.com, isaacsei@erols.com, feingold@nso.uchc.edu, lgoldstein@dttus.com, lkorlaw@aol.com, winterm@utrc.utc.com, nhlazl@aol.com, Phil_Weiss@compuserve.com, rena.cheskis-go CC: Subj: COMPUTERS >Conversion: Allowed >Original-Encoded-Information-Types: IA5-Text >Priority: normal >Disclose-Recipients: Prohibited >Alternate-Recipient: Allowed >Date: 22 Apr 1998 18:17:35 -0500 >From: Larry Goldstein >To: bkatz@anima.nums.nwu.edu (IPM Return requested) >Subject: COMPUTERS > > > Cute . . . > > >______________________________ Forward Header __________________________________ >Subject: COMPUTERS >Author: John.B.Reed@alltel.com at Internet-USA >Date: 4/22/98 8:13 AM > > >What are computers? >> >>As you are aware, cruise ships have long been characterized as being >female >>(e.g., "Steady as she goes" or "She's listing to starboard, Captain."). >>Recently, a group of computer geeks (all males) announced that >computers >>should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing >>this conclusion follow: >> >>Five reasons to believe computers are female: >>______________________________________ >> >>1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. >> >>2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers >is >> incomprehensible to everyone else. >> >>3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative >as, >> "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not >going >>to >>tell you." >> >>4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for >later >> retrieval. >> >>5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself >spending >> half your paycheck on accessories for it. >> >> >>However, another group of computer geeks (all female) think that >>computers should be referred to as if they were male. Their reasons >>follow: >> >>Five reasons to believe computers are male: >>______________________________________ >> >>1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. >> >>2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, >they >> ARE the problem. >> >>3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited >a >> little longer, you could have obtained a better model. >> >>4. In order to get their attention, you have to boot them. >> >>5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the day. >> >> >> > >